What to Expect from Individual Counselling
Great therapy happens when the therapist and the client are able to create a solid relationship that fosters confidence, and growth. This magic needs all the right chemistry and is dependent on how well the people involved can develop mutual respect and mutual empathy. When this kind of connection is co-created, great things can happen. These are a few of the outcomes you can expect:
- Find meaning, depth, and purpose in living.
- Improve relationship with self and others.
- Resolve painful memories and past trauma.
- Overcome barriers to peaceful living.
- Learn to manage pain and illness.
- Navigate life's transitions.
- Quiet the mind through meditation and/or yoga.
- Increase self-worth, self-awareness, self-understanding and self-compassion.
- Make sense of oppression due to race, gender, sexual orientation, class and/or ability.
- Enhance existing coping skills and self-nurturing techniques.
- Rediscover innate wisdom, self-expression, passion, and creativity.
- Identify , honour and assert emotional and physical boundaries.
My Approach to Individual Counselling
In the book Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert sets out on a journey to Italy, India and Bali in an attempt to examine different aspects of her nature. I believe the stages of counselling are similar to the journey Elizabeth experiences during the course of her travels.
Following a divorce and a crushing depression, Elizabeth begins the ‘Eat’ part of her journey in Italy. Like Elizabeth, most people begin their counselling journey following a crisis in their life. The goal of counselling at this time is to create stability, which can be achieved by developing or enhancing existing coping skills. In the film/book Elizabeth finds balance through friendships; eating mindfully; and learning to spend time on her own.
In my experience most people are pretty committed to the 'EAT' part of the healing journey. When it’s over, many leave counselling because life has become more stable; their support network has been strengthened and since the crisis has passed – they
feel a whole lot better. This could take anywhere from 5-10 sessions.
Some of the techniques I teach during this leg of the journey involve mindful meditation and Emotional Freedom Technique www.eftuniverse.com It might not be as pleasurable as a trip to Italy – but the end result is very much the same.
Truth be told - my favourite people to work with are the ones who are interested in continuing on for the next leg of the journey - which in the movie/book is called 'PRAY'. At this time Elizabeth travels to India where she enters into stillness and silence going deep within herself to heal all the hurts (big and small), while learning to tame her mind.
In my therapy practice this is often when we start to work on processing big and small 't' traumas. I do this using many different approaches like internal family systems theory www.selfleadership.org and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing www.emdria.org. This leg of the journey can take anywhere from 6-12 months or several years if there is a history of trauma which includes, abuse, neglect, bullying, witnessing abuse to name a few.
In my personal and professional opinion this is the most important
part of the healing journey and can lead to significant transformations in a
person’s well-being from the 'inside out'. Through hard work and a willingness to enter into dark spaces - freedom from painful thoughts, feelings, and memories can be achieved. It might not sound pleasant, but the results can be truly liberating.
In the book/film, Elizabeth complains about how difficult the "Pray" journey is, but as she keeps moving deeper and surrenders to the process, she begins to find peace even in the unpleasantness. I often share the following quotes to assure people of the benefits
of this part of the process. "The only journey is the one within." Rainer Maria Rilke & "All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone." Blaise Pascal
The third leg of the journey is as important as the rest, but the ego often distracts us into thinking "you know I've done all this hard work - I've faced my demons - I've learned to ride the waves life brings to me - I need a break". Thing is - stopping at this point is like not finishing your prescribed anti-biotics (even though I never ever take anti-biotics I like the analogy).
This is the leg of the journey where everything gets tied together and often leads to other practices that will be maintained throughout life (ie meditation; faith; exercise; yoga....) and like anti-biotics - if you stop taking them short of the prescribed time period - then what was ailing you will probably return and maybe with a vengeance.
Again -it's not as pleasant as living in a beautiful secluded hut in Bali - but it certainly is a time in therapy when people can really begin to experience more fullfilling relationships with themselves and with others while learning to enjoy freedom from suffering.
Following a divorce and a crushing depression, Elizabeth begins the ‘Eat’ part of her journey in Italy. Like Elizabeth, most people begin their counselling journey following a crisis in their life. The goal of counselling at this time is to create stability, which can be achieved by developing or enhancing existing coping skills. In the film/book Elizabeth finds balance through friendships; eating mindfully; and learning to spend time on her own.
In my experience most people are pretty committed to the 'EAT' part of the healing journey. When it’s over, many leave counselling because life has become more stable; their support network has been strengthened and since the crisis has passed – they
feel a whole lot better. This could take anywhere from 5-10 sessions.
Some of the techniques I teach during this leg of the journey involve mindful meditation and Emotional Freedom Technique www.eftuniverse.com It might not be as pleasurable as a trip to Italy – but the end result is very much the same.
Truth be told - my favourite people to work with are the ones who are interested in continuing on for the next leg of the journey - which in the movie/book is called 'PRAY'. At this time Elizabeth travels to India where she enters into stillness and silence going deep within herself to heal all the hurts (big and small), while learning to tame her mind.
In my therapy practice this is often when we start to work on processing big and small 't' traumas. I do this using many different approaches like internal family systems theory www.selfleadership.org and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing www.emdria.org. This leg of the journey can take anywhere from 6-12 months or several years if there is a history of trauma which includes, abuse, neglect, bullying, witnessing abuse to name a few.
In my personal and professional opinion this is the most important
part of the healing journey and can lead to significant transformations in a
person’s well-being from the 'inside out'. Through hard work and a willingness to enter into dark spaces - freedom from painful thoughts, feelings, and memories can be achieved. It might not sound pleasant, but the results can be truly liberating.
In the book/film, Elizabeth complains about how difficult the "Pray" journey is, but as she keeps moving deeper and surrenders to the process, she begins to find peace even in the unpleasantness. I often share the following quotes to assure people of the benefits
of this part of the process. "The only journey is the one within." Rainer Maria Rilke & "All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone." Blaise Pascal
The third leg of the journey is as important as the rest, but the ego often distracts us into thinking "you know I've done all this hard work - I've faced my demons - I've learned to ride the waves life brings to me - I need a break". Thing is - stopping at this point is like not finishing your prescribed anti-biotics (even though I never ever take anti-biotics I like the analogy).
This is the leg of the journey where everything gets tied together and often leads to other practices that will be maintained throughout life (ie meditation; faith; exercise; yoga....) and like anti-biotics - if you stop taking them short of the prescribed time period - then what was ailing you will probably return and maybe with a vengeance.
Again -it's not as pleasant as living in a beautiful secluded hut in Bali - but it certainly is a time in therapy when people can really begin to experience more fullfilling relationships with themselves and with others while learning to enjoy freedom from suffering.
