Calming, Soothing, Coping Strategies
When we are outside of our Window of Tolerance (see above image) our nervous system instantly activates a fight, flight, freeze or fawn (fix) response. In this state of activation we can experience fear, rage, sadness, desperation, embarrassment, anger, suicidal thoughts, physical/mental paralysis and more.
In these states of activation we automatically turn to whatever calming/coping/grounding strategies we have learned over the course of our lives. Some strategies can lead to much needed zoning out (ie Netflix, alcohol, drugs, shopping, sex, food...) and some result in calming the nervous system.
PLEASE KNOW THAT BOTH SHUTDOWN AND CALMING STRATEGIES ARE ADAPTIVE
THEY WERE DEVELOPED TO PROTECT US FROM FURTHER PAIN
For instance when I was going through a very unexpected divorce in my late 20s, I moved in with my parents briefly and I turned to cigarette smoking. I knew my mother was against smoking and one evening after coming in from smoking on her balcony, I apologized to her and told her I would quit. My retired social worker mother responded by saying something like: "I know you will quit one day, but don't quit now, let's deal with the emotional pain you are experiencing first". Decades later I am still grateful to my mother for not shaming me for turning to cigarettes as a temporary coping strategy. Her attunement to me and my pain was not only comforting, but her calm, nurturing presence helped to calm my nervous system.
Watch this to see how comedian Craig Ferguson models compassion and empathy for his past self's dependence on alcohol when he was "disregulated" Craig Ferguson Speaks From The Heart - YouTube
SHAME HAS NO PLACE IN ADDRESSING SHUTDOWN STRATEGIES AND ADDICTION
SHAME HAS NO PLACE IN ADDRESSING SHUTDOWN STRATEGIES AND ADDICTION
SHAME HAS NO PLACE IN ADDRESSING SHUTDOWN STRATEGIES AND ADDICTION
When the time is right choose one or two of the calming strategies below for 1-3 weeks and if you want to add more or come up with your own please do....and then send me info about your strategy in case I'd like to add it to this growing list.
Remember to take it slowly, be gentle, try to resist negative self-judgments and don't be be afraid to make changes as needed. It was the tortoise not the hare that won the race.
Please also consider going to my "Movies, Podcasts, Links and More" page for additional ideas that don't require much more effort than watching or listening to something that might bring a more passive sense of calm, connected presence.
Dr. Jamie Marich - founder of the Institute for Creative Mindfulness has a website dedicated to calming and improving distress tolerance: https://www.traumamadesimple.com/pnp.html
In these states of activation we automatically turn to whatever calming/coping/grounding strategies we have learned over the course of our lives. Some strategies can lead to much needed zoning out (ie Netflix, alcohol, drugs, shopping, sex, food...) and some result in calming the nervous system.
PLEASE KNOW THAT BOTH SHUTDOWN AND CALMING STRATEGIES ARE ADAPTIVE
THEY WERE DEVELOPED TO PROTECT US FROM FURTHER PAIN
For instance when I was going through a very unexpected divorce in my late 20s, I moved in with my parents briefly and I turned to cigarette smoking. I knew my mother was against smoking and one evening after coming in from smoking on her balcony, I apologized to her and told her I would quit. My retired social worker mother responded by saying something like: "I know you will quit one day, but don't quit now, let's deal with the emotional pain you are experiencing first". Decades later I am still grateful to my mother for not shaming me for turning to cigarettes as a temporary coping strategy. Her attunement to me and my pain was not only comforting, but her calm, nurturing presence helped to calm my nervous system.
Watch this to see how comedian Craig Ferguson models compassion and empathy for his past self's dependence on alcohol when he was "disregulated" Craig Ferguson Speaks From The Heart - YouTube
SHAME HAS NO PLACE IN ADDRESSING SHUTDOWN STRATEGIES AND ADDICTION
SHAME HAS NO PLACE IN ADDRESSING SHUTDOWN STRATEGIES AND ADDICTION
SHAME HAS NO PLACE IN ADDRESSING SHUTDOWN STRATEGIES AND ADDICTION
When the time is right choose one or two of the calming strategies below for 1-3 weeks and if you want to add more or come up with your own please do....and then send me info about your strategy in case I'd like to add it to this growing list.
Remember to take it slowly, be gentle, try to resist negative self-judgments and don't be be afraid to make changes as needed. It was the tortoise not the hare that won the race.
Please also consider going to my "Movies, Podcasts, Links and More" page for additional ideas that don't require much more effort than watching or listening to something that might bring a more passive sense of calm, connected presence.
Dr. Jamie Marich - founder of the Institute for Creative Mindfulness has a website dedicated to calming and improving distress tolerance: https://www.traumamadesimple.com/pnp.html
Bonus Guided Calming Strategies Quick Links
Get a Pep Talk: If you could use a little encouragement or motivation from some cheery kids call (707)873-7862 aka (707)8 pep toc You can choose one or all of the following messages: 1) if you need a pep talk 2) if you need words of encouragement 3) if you're made and frustrated 4) If you need or want to hear kids laugh with delight! Long distance charges to US apply - if you try it might make you smile.
Receptive Listening Meditation: 20 min. Guided Meditation: Receptive Listening - Michael Stone Teachings
Meditation on Thinking: 20 min. Guided Meditation on Thinking - Michael Stone Teachings
If you need to have what you're going thru normalized: Home - Beyond Trauma Podcast
Calm Place Guided: Visualization: Episode 15: Calm Experience - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Light Stream guided visualization: Episode 15: Light Stream - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Container guided visualization: Episode 15: Container - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
One Minute Mindfulness Exercise: Episode 21: One Minute Mindful Meditation Mini Series - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Journaling prompts: Episode 27: Journaling Prompts Mini Series - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Internal Bonding - Journaling Prompts: Episode 27: Internal Bonding- Journaling Prompts Mini Series - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Knowing Gratitude: Episode 27: Knowing Gratitude- Journaling Prompts Mini Series - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Polyvagal Informed Yoga with Dr. Arielle Schwartz: (2) Dr. Arielle Schwartz - YouTube
Sleep, Insomnia, Restorative Yoga: (2) Ally Boothroyd | Sarovara Yoga - YouTube
Yoga Nidra with Dr. Jamie Marich: https://www.instituteforcreativemindfulness.com/yoga-nidra-resources/
Understanding and Cultivating Your Resources: Understanding and Cultivating Your Resources | Psychology Today
Get a Pep Talk: If you could use a little encouragement or motivation from some cheery kids call (707)873-7862 aka (707)8 pep toc You can choose one or all of the following messages: 1) if you need a pep talk 2) if you need words of encouragement 3) if you're made and frustrated 4) If you need or want to hear kids laugh with delight! Long distance charges to US apply - if you try it might make you smile.
Receptive Listening Meditation: 20 min. Guided Meditation: Receptive Listening - Michael Stone Teachings
Meditation on Thinking: 20 min. Guided Meditation on Thinking - Michael Stone Teachings
If you need to have what you're going thru normalized: Home - Beyond Trauma Podcast
Calm Place Guided: Visualization: Episode 15: Calm Experience - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Light Stream guided visualization: Episode 15: Light Stream - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Container guided visualization: Episode 15: Container - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
One Minute Mindfulness Exercise: Episode 21: One Minute Mindful Meditation Mini Series - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Journaling prompts: Episode 27: Journaling Prompts Mini Series - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Internal Bonding - Journaling Prompts: Episode 27: Internal Bonding- Journaling Prompts Mini Series - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Knowing Gratitude: Episode 27: Knowing Gratitude- Journaling Prompts Mini Series - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Polyvagal Informed Yoga with Dr. Arielle Schwartz: (2) Dr. Arielle Schwartz - YouTube
Sleep, Insomnia, Restorative Yoga: (2) Ally Boothroyd | Sarovara Yoga - YouTube
Yoga Nidra with Dr. Jamie Marich: https://www.instituteforcreativemindfulness.com/yoga-nidra-resources/
Understanding and Cultivating Your Resources: Understanding and Cultivating Your Resources | Psychology Today
1. The Morning Pages
I came across this exercise in 2001 during 5 days of solitude on a solo hiking and sketching excursion along the Bruce Trail. The exercise is from Julia Cameron's book The Artist's Way. The morning pages are three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, or as one of my clients called it "Mind Vomit". You'll need three lined pages and a pen. Once I have completed three pages I turn them over and listen to Michael Stone's Receptive Listening For a short video tutorial go to juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/
Writing Toward Courage: Free eBook - Writing Toward Courage: A 30-Day Practice - Laura Davis
Writing Toward Courage: Free eBook - Writing Toward Courage: A 30-Day Practice - Laura Davis
2. Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness Meditation is a practice that is over 5000 years old. The purpose of mindfulness meditation is to learn to steady the mind (which is NOT clearing the mind from thoughts or "emptying the mind") from the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and the world around us. The stories are often distorted interpretations of how we see things. Distortions can include thoughts like: I am worthless, stupid, ugly, or I am more worthy than others. Sometimes the distortions can lead to a racing mind that can spin us into a full-blown panic attack, thoughts of suicide or a belief that we are more entitled than others. Go to Movies, Podcasts, Links & More (giseleharrison.com) for meditation podcasts I recommend. For a guide to meditation please read the following: www.lionsroar.com/how-to-do-mindfulness-meditation/
Mindfulness Meditation is a practice that is over 5000 years old. The purpose of mindfulness meditation is to learn to steady the mind (which is NOT clearing the mind from thoughts or "emptying the mind") from the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and the world around us. The stories are often distorted interpretations of how we see things. Distortions can include thoughts like: I am worthless, stupid, ugly, or I am more worthy than others. Sometimes the distortions can lead to a racing mind that can spin us into a full-blown panic attack, thoughts of suicide or a belief that we are more entitled than others. Go to Movies, Podcasts, Links & More (giseleharrison.com) for meditation podcasts I recommend. For a guide to meditation please read the following: www.lionsroar.com/how-to-do-mindfulness-meditation/
3. Soothing Self-Talk
Hold your hands over your heart and say "Oh (insert your name here)" apparently saying our name to ourselves in a caring loving way helps us to feel cared for from the inside out.
I learned "A Prayer for the Overwhelmed" (below) at a Buddhist Meditation retreat. The teacher Jill Davey Online Teachings and Practices - RiverSound Retreat had us hold our hands over our hearts and pretend we were saying this prayer to ourselves. A Prayer for the Overwhelmed was written by author, teacher and Facebook blogger Jeff Foster.
Oh, sweetheart.
Life is overwhelming for you at times, l know.
Don't listen to the ones who call you over-sensitive or too weak for this world.
Your sensitivity is exquisitely beautiful!
But you must learn to stay close to yourself.
You must learn to breathe.
To invite curious attention deep into your body.
Allow yourself to feel overwhelmed,
and you won't be overwhelmed, I promise.
It's just a feeling.
A precious part of you longing for love.
It will pass when it's ready.
Let it stay awhile.
Don't pretend to be strong, the one who has it all 'figured out'.
There will be time for answers soon enough.
Now, simply give 'the overwhelmed one' safe passage in your heart.
Drench the feeling of overwhelm with gentle attention; bathe it in overwhelming love.
It's okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes, it really is.
Even the strongest feel overwhelmed, for their strength lies in their vulnerability.
Your sensitive nervous system is perfect, and l love you for it.
And it's all okay, here.
It's really okay, here in the arms of the present moment.
Hold your hands over your heart and say "Oh (insert your name here)" apparently saying our name to ourselves in a caring loving way helps us to feel cared for from the inside out.
I learned "A Prayer for the Overwhelmed" (below) at a Buddhist Meditation retreat. The teacher Jill Davey Online Teachings and Practices - RiverSound Retreat had us hold our hands over our hearts and pretend we were saying this prayer to ourselves. A Prayer for the Overwhelmed was written by author, teacher and Facebook blogger Jeff Foster.
Oh, sweetheart.
Life is overwhelming for you at times, l know.
Don't listen to the ones who call you over-sensitive or too weak for this world.
Your sensitivity is exquisitely beautiful!
But you must learn to stay close to yourself.
You must learn to breathe.
To invite curious attention deep into your body.
Allow yourself to feel overwhelmed,
and you won't be overwhelmed, I promise.
It's just a feeling.
A precious part of you longing for love.
It will pass when it's ready.
Let it stay awhile.
Don't pretend to be strong, the one who has it all 'figured out'.
There will be time for answers soon enough.
Now, simply give 'the overwhelmed one' safe passage in your heart.
Drench the feeling of overwhelm with gentle attention; bathe it in overwhelming love.
It's okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes, it really is.
Even the strongest feel overwhelmed, for their strength lies in their vulnerability.
Your sensitive nervous system is perfect, and l love you for it.
And it's all okay, here.
It's really okay, here in the arms of the present moment.
4. Water (drinking it, looking at it, bathing in it, swimming in it & listening to it)
In Dr. Judith Orloff's book "The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People" she outlines the soothing property of water when we are outside our "window of tolerance".
I have an autoimmune disease and know I need to drink 64oz of water/day. I feel better when I do this and find it has a very positive impact on both my physical and mental health. My naturopathic doctor, Dr. Natasha Zajmalowski says that we need a minimum of 2 litres of filtered water daily for our cells to function properly. She says that our brain is 70% water which means that our mood, memory and clarity is profoundly impacted by how much water we drink.
The calming, soothing power of water can also be experienced from soaking in a bath (if you have pain epsom salt) or a hot tub or going for a swim. Listening to the sounds of water, rain, or crashing waves can also provide comfort. Similarly, just sitting and looking at water can be calming and give us a sense of feeling connected to something bigger than ourselves. I often practice receptive listening meditation when I am close to water 20 min. Guided Meditation: Receptive Listening - Michael Stone Teachings
TreeFM: Tune Into Forests Around the World: Escape, Relax, Preserve tree.fm – Tune Into Forests From Around The World 🌳🔈 From Around The World. Escape, Relax &
In Dr. Judith Orloff's book "The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People" she outlines the soothing property of water when we are outside our "window of tolerance".
I have an autoimmune disease and know I need to drink 64oz of water/day. I feel better when I do this and find it has a very positive impact on both my physical and mental health. My naturopathic doctor, Dr. Natasha Zajmalowski says that we need a minimum of 2 litres of filtered water daily for our cells to function properly. She says that our brain is 70% water which means that our mood, memory and clarity is profoundly impacted by how much water we drink.
The calming, soothing power of water can also be experienced from soaking in a bath (if you have pain epsom salt) or a hot tub or going for a swim. Listening to the sounds of water, rain, or crashing waves can also provide comfort. Similarly, just sitting and looking at water can be calming and give us a sense of feeling connected to something bigger than ourselves. I often practice receptive listening meditation when I am close to water 20 min. Guided Meditation: Receptive Listening - Michael Stone Teachings
TreeFM: Tune Into Forests Around the World: Escape, Relax, Preserve tree.fm – Tune Into Forests From Around The World 🌳🔈 From Around The World. Escape, Relax &
5. Sleep
Improving the quality, duration, and timing of sleep is one of the single most powerful interventions we can make to improve our mental and physical health. Alas sleep can be a challenge when we our outside our "window of tolerance". Anxiety, sadness, and wandering thoughts can prevent us from falling and/or staying asleep. Here are some tips:
Case for Sleeping with Stuffed Animals as an Adult: https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/blog/adults-who-sleep-with-stuffed-animals/
Practice good sleep hygiene What Is Sleep Hygiene? | Sleep Foundation
Aromatherapy: Aromatherapy for Sleep - Improve Your Rest (better-sleep-better-life.com)
Complete darkness through black out blinds or an eye mask.
Listen to: Dr. Jamie Marich https://www.instituteforcreativemindfulness.com/yoga-nidra-resources/: (2) Ally Boothroyd | Sarovara Yoga - YouTube
Delta Wave Music for Sleep: (3) Sleep Music Delta Waves: Relaxing Music to Help you Sleep, Deep Sleep, Inner Peace - YouTube
Sleep Restore: Sleep Restore App | Overcome the stress that's keeping you awake
EMF interference from your phone will also disrupt sleep's quality so always put your phone in airplane mode if it is in the same room as you.
If you share your bed with someone that snores, try silicone ear plugs to help you stay asleep.
Keep your room cool. Open the window or turn down your furnace before bedtime.
Find a guided Yoga Nidra recording on YouTube
End the day by thinking of what went well in your day - even if the only thing you believe you did was survive the day. Celebrating wins and training your mind toward gratitude can make it easier to see the gifts life offers.
Create a worry list and agree with your anxiety that you will address these worries after you've had time to sleep.
Practice loving kindness meditation: May I be peaceful with this upset; May I drench my worries with compassion...
Listen to ambient music including this one by Moby
Stretch your body gently and/or complete this routine for your joints: Controlled Articular Rotations: CARs every day (Quick routine) - YouTube
See if you suffer from "Revenge Bedtime" What Is Revenge Bedtime Procrastination? (webmd.com)
Discuss conventional (sleeping pills) and non-conventional sleep aids (melatoning spray, THC/CBD oil, supplements with your doctor and/or naturopathic doctor.
Improving the quality, duration, and timing of sleep is one of the single most powerful interventions we can make to improve our mental and physical health. Alas sleep can be a challenge when we our outside our "window of tolerance". Anxiety, sadness, and wandering thoughts can prevent us from falling and/or staying asleep. Here are some tips:
Case for Sleeping with Stuffed Animals as an Adult: https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/blog/adults-who-sleep-with-stuffed-animals/
Practice good sleep hygiene What Is Sleep Hygiene? | Sleep Foundation
Aromatherapy: Aromatherapy for Sleep - Improve Your Rest (better-sleep-better-life.com)
Complete darkness through black out blinds or an eye mask.
Listen to: Dr. Jamie Marich https://www.instituteforcreativemindfulness.com/yoga-nidra-resources/: (2) Ally Boothroyd | Sarovara Yoga - YouTube
Delta Wave Music for Sleep: (3) Sleep Music Delta Waves: Relaxing Music to Help you Sleep, Deep Sleep, Inner Peace - YouTube
Sleep Restore: Sleep Restore App | Overcome the stress that's keeping you awake
EMF interference from your phone will also disrupt sleep's quality so always put your phone in airplane mode if it is in the same room as you.
If you share your bed with someone that snores, try silicone ear plugs to help you stay asleep.
Keep your room cool. Open the window or turn down your furnace before bedtime.
Find a guided Yoga Nidra recording on YouTube
End the day by thinking of what went well in your day - even if the only thing you believe you did was survive the day. Celebrating wins and training your mind toward gratitude can make it easier to see the gifts life offers.
Create a worry list and agree with your anxiety that you will address these worries after you've had time to sleep.
Practice loving kindness meditation: May I be peaceful with this upset; May I drench my worries with compassion...
Listen to ambient music including this one by Moby
Stretch your body gently and/or complete this routine for your joints: Controlled Articular Rotations: CARs every day (Quick routine) - YouTube
See if you suffer from "Revenge Bedtime" What Is Revenge Bedtime Procrastination? (webmd.com)
Discuss conventional (sleeping pills) and non-conventional sleep aids (melatoning spray, THC/CBD oil, supplements with your doctor and/or naturopathic doctor.
6. Calming the parasympathetic nervous system
Come back soon for more information - in the meantime please here are a few resources:
Peter Levine: Treating Trauma: 2 Ways to Help Clients Feel Safe, with Peter Levine - YouTube
Deb Dana Befriending the nervous system: A Tool to Help Clients Calm the Nervous System - YouTube
Deb Dana: For Curious People | Rhythm of Regulation
Dr. Arielle Schwartz' YouTube Channel: (2) Dr. Arielle Schwartz - YouTube
Dr. Arielle Schwartz' website: Welcome | Dr. Arielle Schwartz (drarielleschwartz.com)
Episode 17: Attachment and the Nervous System - Beyond Trauma Podcast
Episode 21: Trauma and Neurodevelopment - Beyond Trauma Podcast
Episode 22: Attachment, Co-Dependency, and Co-Regulation - Beyond Trauma Podcast
Episode 22: Attachment, Co-Dependency, and Co-Regulation - Beyond Trauma Podcast
Episode 25: Recognize, Understand, Attune, Co-Regulate (RUAC) - Beyond Trauma Podcast
Episode 32: Introduction to Polyvagal Theory w/ Bridger (Part 1) - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Episode 33: Introduction to Polyvagal Theory w/ Bridger (Part 2) - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Polyvagal Theory Explained Simply - YouTube
Befriending Your Nervous System – Sounds True
Home of Dr. Stephen Porges
Polyvagal Guided Living | Rhythm of Regulation
Best-Selling book on Stress and Disease by Dr. Gabor Maté (drgabormate.com)
The Body Keeps The Score | Bessel van der Kolk, MD.
Power Posing: Amy Cuddy: Your body language may shape who you are | TED Talk
Come back soon for more information - in the meantime please here are a few resources:
Peter Levine: Treating Trauma: 2 Ways to Help Clients Feel Safe, with Peter Levine - YouTube
Deb Dana Befriending the nervous system: A Tool to Help Clients Calm the Nervous System - YouTube
Deb Dana: For Curious People | Rhythm of Regulation
Dr. Arielle Schwartz' YouTube Channel: (2) Dr. Arielle Schwartz - YouTube
Dr. Arielle Schwartz' website: Welcome | Dr. Arielle Schwartz (drarielleschwartz.com)
Episode 17: Attachment and the Nervous System - Beyond Trauma Podcast
Episode 21: Trauma and Neurodevelopment - Beyond Trauma Podcast
Episode 22: Attachment, Co-Dependency, and Co-Regulation - Beyond Trauma Podcast
Episode 22: Attachment, Co-Dependency, and Co-Regulation - Beyond Trauma Podcast
Episode 25: Recognize, Understand, Attune, Co-Regulate (RUAC) - Beyond Trauma Podcast
Episode 32: Introduction to Polyvagal Theory w/ Bridger (Part 1) - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Episode 33: Introduction to Polyvagal Theory w/ Bridger (Part 2) - Notice That (emdr-podcast.com)
Polyvagal Theory Explained Simply - YouTube
Befriending Your Nervous System – Sounds True
Home of Dr. Stephen Porges
Polyvagal Guided Living | Rhythm of Regulation
Best-Selling book on Stress and Disease by Dr. Gabor Maté (drgabormate.com)
The Body Keeps The Score | Bessel van der Kolk, MD.
Power Posing: Amy Cuddy: Your body language may shape who you are | TED Talk
7. Movement + Getting Outside
There are so many ways of moving our body to create more joy and to cultivate inner and outer balance, strength, resiliency, and ease.
Perhaps sign up for this free exercise: joyn - movement for every.body
Dance like no one is watching - your nervous system will love you for it - here is one from Joyn called "Wiggling" it looks a bit goofy but I guarantee you will feel calmer wiggle away your worries! - joyn
Stretch (2) Controlled Articular Rotations: CARs every day (Quick routine) - YouTube
Practice yoga (2) Dr. Arielle Schwartz - YouTube
Dance: Masala Bhangra Virtual Fitness | Online Workouts with Sarina Jain & Co.
Play tag, hide and seek, hopscotch with your pet, the kids in your life and/or with any other willing adult
Play basket ball, soccer, ping pong, badminton....
Go for a walk in the woods, by the water and complete 3 calming strategies at once like I did in this photograph of me 2021 at Tremblay Beach Conservation Area.
You can research walking and depression and see for yourself that many studies have found that walking for 5 to 30 minutes several times/week can be as effective as anti-depressants. There are some lovely places to walk in Essex County: the Ganatchio, Willistead Park, Point Pelee, Ojibwe, the Riverfront, and even the alleys of South Walkerville that are this city's best kept secret. Don't let the weather deter you. We find lots of negative ways to sabotage our self-care plans. Bundle up if it's cold, bring an umbrella if it's raining, or go to a mall and walk indoors. Remember to be kind to yourself. Set realistic goals that can be altered when needed. Download this free app to find a trail/trails near you Outdoors Mobile Apps | AllTrails
When I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in June 2020, I immediately joined a support group led by Angie Alt (Autoimmune Protocol | AIP Recipes | Diet for Autoimmune Disease | Autoimmune Wellness). We were instructed to spend at least 30 minutes outside every day, walking and spending time in nature. I quickly saw the benefits of this on my physical health (my joints were more limber and I had less pain). A side effect of my outdoor walks and time in nature was a better outlook on life and a growing sense of peace. I soon discovered the many conservation areas in Windsor, Esssex and Kent and set a goal to visit all of them and document my discoveries. This also added a sense of adventure on my quest for physical and mental health and found that I was drawn to these adventures in all weather conditions. You can download this app to find walking trails near you Outdoors Mobile Apps | AllTrails
TreeFM: Tune Into Forests Around the World: Escape, Relax, Preserve tree.fm – Tune Into Forests From Around The World 🌳
There are so many ways of moving our body to create more joy and to cultivate inner and outer balance, strength, resiliency, and ease.
Perhaps sign up for this free exercise: joyn - movement for every.body
Dance like no one is watching - your nervous system will love you for it - here is one from Joyn called "Wiggling" it looks a bit goofy but I guarantee you will feel calmer wiggle away your worries! - joyn
Stretch (2) Controlled Articular Rotations: CARs every day (Quick routine) - YouTube
Practice yoga (2) Dr. Arielle Schwartz - YouTube
Dance: Masala Bhangra Virtual Fitness | Online Workouts with Sarina Jain & Co.
Play tag, hide and seek, hopscotch with your pet, the kids in your life and/or with any other willing adult
Play basket ball, soccer, ping pong, badminton....
Go for a walk in the woods, by the water and complete 3 calming strategies at once like I did in this photograph of me 2021 at Tremblay Beach Conservation Area.
You can research walking and depression and see for yourself that many studies have found that walking for 5 to 30 minutes several times/week can be as effective as anti-depressants. There are some lovely places to walk in Essex County: the Ganatchio, Willistead Park, Point Pelee, Ojibwe, the Riverfront, and even the alleys of South Walkerville that are this city's best kept secret. Don't let the weather deter you. We find lots of negative ways to sabotage our self-care plans. Bundle up if it's cold, bring an umbrella if it's raining, or go to a mall and walk indoors. Remember to be kind to yourself. Set realistic goals that can be altered when needed. Download this free app to find a trail/trails near you Outdoors Mobile Apps | AllTrails
When I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in June 2020, I immediately joined a support group led by Angie Alt (Autoimmune Protocol | AIP Recipes | Diet for Autoimmune Disease | Autoimmune Wellness). We were instructed to spend at least 30 minutes outside every day, walking and spending time in nature. I quickly saw the benefits of this on my physical health (my joints were more limber and I had less pain). A side effect of my outdoor walks and time in nature was a better outlook on life and a growing sense of peace. I soon discovered the many conservation areas in Windsor, Esssex and Kent and set a goal to visit all of them and document my discoveries. This also added a sense of adventure on my quest for physical and mental health and found that I was drawn to these adventures in all weather conditions. You can download this app to find walking trails near you Outdoors Mobile Apps | AllTrails
TreeFM: Tune Into Forests Around the World: Escape, Relax, Preserve tree.fm – Tune Into Forests From Around The World 🌳
8. Mindfully Nourish Your Body & Mind
Food is our friend - it provides nourishment to every single cell in our body. Sometimes self-care is eating even when our anxiety or depression tell us we don't need food. Prior to my RA diagnosis in 2020 I really had no interest in cooking and didn't give much thought to when my body was hungry or full or if it wanted more or less of any given food. I now see my food as medicine, as something to delight in and something that I love to prepare and share with loved ones. I know what foods add to my stress and what nourishes me body and soul. Sometimes it's a bag of chips and sometimes it's a giant salad with as many vegetables (and sometimes fruit) that I can add to my plate.
Learn to cook/eat for anxiety: Meg De Jong Nutrition - Vancouver Holistic Nutritionist Meg De Jong or follow Sharon Singh aka "Ginger Root Kitchen" on Instagram.
These are a few mottos I live by:
Don't diet "harder" - in fact don't diet
Notice if food is being used to nourish or to shutdown and if it's the latter be kind, avoid self-shame, invite compassion.
Resist the temptation to restrict.
Tune into when the body to see if it's hungry or full and what it needs
Delight in eating
Be a nutrient seeker. Don't ignore the foods that accelerate healing and restore health.
Try new fruits and vegetables each week, turning grocery shopping into an adventure in healing.
Food is our friend - it provides nourishment to every single cell in our body. Sometimes self-care is eating even when our anxiety or depression tell us we don't need food. Prior to my RA diagnosis in 2020 I really had no interest in cooking and didn't give much thought to when my body was hungry or full or if it wanted more or less of any given food. I now see my food as medicine, as something to delight in and something that I love to prepare and share with loved ones. I know what foods add to my stress and what nourishes me body and soul. Sometimes it's a bag of chips and sometimes it's a giant salad with as many vegetables (and sometimes fruit) that I can add to my plate.
Learn to cook/eat for anxiety: Meg De Jong Nutrition - Vancouver Holistic Nutritionist Meg De Jong or follow Sharon Singh aka "Ginger Root Kitchen" on Instagram.
These are a few mottos I live by:
Don't diet "harder" - in fact don't diet
Notice if food is being used to nourish or to shutdown and if it's the latter be kind, avoid self-shame, invite compassion.
Resist the temptation to restrict.
Tune into when the body to see if it's hungry or full and what it needs
Delight in eating
Be a nutrient seeker. Don't ignore the foods that accelerate healing and restore health.
Try new fruits and vegetables each week, turning grocery shopping into an adventure in healing.
9. Cultivate Self-Compassion and Self-Love
Falling in love with ourselves means cultivating friendship, compassion, kindness, joy and equanimity. The Buddha called these the Brahma Viharas - or the Four Abodes. If we make self-love our relationship goal - we will need to embrace the idea of dedicating time, energy, curiosity, attention and forgiveness inward - the way we would with any other significant relationship.
I teach an 8-week class on this topic but if you're not interested in group programs or you just want to get a head start, I would like to recommend that you: listen to www.sharonsalzberg.com/metta-hour-podcast/ and/or soundcloud.com/michaelstoneteaching; read books on loving-kindness; practice loving-kindness meditation; read the short but super powerful "Illustrated Workbook For Freedom From Your Inner Critic - A Self Therapy Approach; Pray and go to church and possibly read/meditate with some of the psalms.
Falling in love with ourselves means cultivating friendship, compassion, kindness, joy and equanimity. The Buddha called these the Brahma Viharas - or the Four Abodes. If we make self-love our relationship goal - we will need to embrace the idea of dedicating time, energy, curiosity, attention and forgiveness inward - the way we would with any other significant relationship.
I teach an 8-week class on this topic but if you're not interested in group programs or you just want to get a head start, I would like to recommend that you: listen to www.sharonsalzberg.com/metta-hour-podcast/ and/or soundcloud.com/michaelstoneteaching; read books on loving-kindness; practice loving-kindness meditation; read the short but super powerful "Illustrated Workbook For Freedom From Your Inner Critic - A Self Therapy Approach; Pray and go to church and possibly read/meditate with some of the psalms.
10. Breathe
To steady the breath and the mind try square breathing: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts and repeat 10 times.
Steadying the breath can help improve concentration and deepen relaxation. For a comprehensive study of breath work, look up "Pranayama" which is the art of breath control or read The Breathing Book by Donna Farhi. You may also go to SoundsTrue to browse the resources they have on breath work.
Buteyko Inspired Breathing Exercies: Buteyko Inspired Breathing Exercises - 5 Minutes | TAKE A DEEP BREATH - YouTube
Pranayama (breath work): Welcome to the Huberman Lab Podcast - Huberman Lab and Pranayama – Sounds True
Steadying the breath can help improve concentration and deepen relaxation. For a comprehensive study of breath work, look up "Pranayama" which is the art of breath control or read The Breathing Book by Donna Farhi. You may also go to SoundsTrue to browse the resources they have on breath work.
Buteyko Inspired Breathing Exercies: Buteyko Inspired Breathing Exercises - 5 Minutes | TAKE A DEEP BREATH - YouTube
Pranayama (breath work): Welcome to the Huberman Lab Podcast - Huberman Lab and Pranayama – Sounds True
11. Emotional Freedom Technique
Based on the ancient principles of acupuncture, EFT is a simple tapping procedure that gently realigns the body's energy system, without the discomfort of needles. Unlike other energy methods, EFT incorporates an emotional element to the healing process, addressing unresolved emotional issues as a likely cause of physical disease and psychological dysfuntion.
I have completed three levels of training with EFT practitioners and have been successfully using this approach in my own life and with clients for over 10 years. I would be happy to teach you how to use EFT for anxiety, depression, pain, self-esteem, and post-trauma symptoms. For for more information please go to: www.emofree.com/
I have completed three levels of training with EFT practitioners and have been successfully using this approach in my own life and with clients for over 10 years. I would be happy to teach you how to use EFT for anxiety, depression, pain, self-esteem, and post-trauma symptoms. For for more information please go to: www.emofree.com/
12. Laughing
Remember how Uncle Albert, Bert, Mary Poppins and the Banks children levitated uncontrollably toward the ceiling when they started laughing? Well it appears laughter may just be the best medicine. Laughing, watching funny movies, reading funny books was how Norman Cousins, author of Anatomy of an Illness (1979), made himself well again after being told he did not have long to live. Cousin died over ten years after that diagnosis and in his book he reported that he "made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give him at least two hours of pain-free sleep". You tube video of Norman Cousins www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNCOQXWBb1U and if you want to reminisce here's "I love to Laugh" from the film Mary Poppins www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOMqqI-kzHY
13. Co-Regulation (call a friend, a crisis line, a therapist)
"Hell is being awake at 4am and not having anyone to talk to" (Marianne Williamson)
When our nervous system is overwhelmed seeking out support from someone that can "loan" you their calm compassionate nervous system would be ideal.
Don't make the mistake of seeing support from someone that does not have the capacity to offer it the way you need it - even if you think they "should" be playing that role for you.
Choose a friend, crisis line, or therapist that can regulate their own emotional state while also demonstrating attunement and providing supportive, consistent responses in the midst of arousal, and will maintain confidentiality. Don't choose someone just because you wish they could do this for you (ie a family member, friend, or spouse that do not have the required skills).
If you are in crisis you should go to emergency, preferably Hotel Dieu Grace Hospital so that you can access the services of the Community Crisis Centre. If you need to speak with someone over the phone you can call: Community Crisis Centre 519-973-4435 or the Sexual Assault Crisis Centre 519-253-9667
Here are some great resources on co-regulation:
The Myth of Self-Regulation: The Myth of Self-Regulation (genmindful.com)
Co-Regulation: It Takes Two: The Role of Co-Regulation in Building Self-Regulation Skills • ZERO TO THREE
Episode 22: Attachment, Co-Dependency, and Co-Regulation - Beyond Trauma Podcast
Episode 25: Recognize, Understand, Attune, Co-Regulate (RUAC) - Beyond Trauma Podcast
14. Draw/Colour/Paint/Knit
The image to the left is a Mandala and it is meant to be downloaded and coloured. When colouring a mandala it is recommended that you begin on the outside edges and work your way toward the centre. You can purchase mandala colouring books, download free colouring mandalas from the internet and/or you can create your own Mandala for colouring. Knitting drawing, painting (if done in moderation and not as a form of distraction from the present) are wonderful ways to calm the mind and feel competent.
Drawing, Art Therapy, and Stress Relief: Drawing, Art Therapy, and Stress Relief (verywellmind.com)
Self-Care Colouring Book: BeginbylisteningcolouringbookRyerson.pdf (torontomu.ca)
We Believe You Colouring Book: WeBelieve_RU_ColouringBook.pdf (torontomu.ca)
Drawing, Art Therapy, and Stress Relief: Drawing, Art Therapy, and Stress Relief (verywellmind.com)
Self-Care Colouring Book: BeginbylisteningcolouringbookRyerson.pdf (torontomu.ca)
We Believe You Colouring Book: WeBelieve_RU_ColouringBook.pdf (torontomu.ca)
15. Study, Pray, Read
I have found wisdom and peace in studying the bible, the Koran, the World's Religions, the Yoga Sutras, the Bhagavad Gita and other Vedic, Yoga & Buddhist philosophy. Most of them deal with self-esteem, confidence and the way our minds can work to trick us into seeing ourselves and the world around us in the most negative way.
Learning to pray and ask for the qualities I need to live a more peaceful life and manage difficult moments has been liberating. I have found that releasing my worries to God and to the universe allows me to live my life more fully and more free from attachments (obsessive thoughts) and aversions. When I am connected to and practicing my spirituality I am more able to live moment to moment whether my experience is pleasant, unpleasant or neutral.
If you are a Christian this video has many inspiring loving messages from the Bible: FathersLoveLetter.com - Home
If you are a Muslim: Living the Quran: Tune into our Podcast and really start living the Quran (marziahassan.com)
Come back soon to see what else I've added
Learning to pray and ask for the qualities I need to live a more peaceful life and manage difficult moments has been liberating. I have found that releasing my worries to God and to the universe allows me to live my life more fully and more free from attachments (obsessive thoughts) and aversions. When I am connected to and practicing my spirituality I am more able to live moment to moment whether my experience is pleasant, unpleasant or neutral.
If you are a Christian this video has many inspiring loving messages from the Bible: FathersLoveLetter.com - Home
If you are a Muslim: Living the Quran: Tune into our Podcast and really start living the Quran (marziahassan.com)
Come back soon to see what else I've added
16. Connecting with People
Make plans with friends that lift you up (and don't forget to return the favour)
Expand your social network by joining a hobby group, find a cause and volunteer, join or start a book club.
Make a "laugh" date
If you're up to it, plan a dinner party or meet someone for tea
Make an art or craft project
Make plans with friends that lift you up (and don't forget to return the favour)
Expand your social network by joining a hobby group, find a cause and volunteer, join or start a book club.
Make a "laugh" date
If you're up to it, plan a dinner party or meet someone for tea
Make an art or craft project
17. Set Boundaries and Learn to Sense When Your Body is Saying NO and When it is Saying Yes
When life feels overwhelming we need to tune into what our body and our mind really need. This can be difficult because sometimes depression and anxiety lie. But we need to remain in our "window of tolerance". Sometimes folks with good intentions want to force us out of our window of tolerance and that will only make the depression and anxiety worse. Tune into you - the you beyond the anxiety and depression.
Some of us were conditioned to be "people pleasers" which means that saying NO might be way outside your window of tolerance because we learned that our wants and needs were not important. Look up some easy ways to say no (ie that won't be helpful, thank you for your offer but I have to respectfully decline). If saying no is completely outside your wheelhouse and doing something you don't want to do will make you feel worse - then perhaps a little white lie would be a healthy solution (I'm not feeling well).
If you're on Facebook there are plenty of groups for introverts with some very funny memes/quotes re: how to decline an invitation.
When life feels overwhelming we need to tune into what our body and our mind really need. This can be difficult because sometimes depression and anxiety lie. But we need to remain in our "window of tolerance". Sometimes folks with good intentions want to force us out of our window of tolerance and that will only make the depression and anxiety worse. Tune into you - the you beyond the anxiety and depression.
Some of us were conditioned to be "people pleasers" which means that saying NO might be way outside your window of tolerance because we learned that our wants and needs were not important. Look up some easy ways to say no (ie that won't be helpful, thank you for your offer but I have to respectfully decline). If saying no is completely outside your wheelhouse and doing something you don't want to do will make you feel worse - then perhaps a little white lie would be a healthy solution (I'm not feeling well).
If you're on Facebook there are plenty of groups for introverts with some very funny memes/quotes re: how to decline an invitation.
Information is Power
Learn enough to be an informed and proactive advocate for your health
Learn enough to be an informed and proactive advocate for your health
