Individual Counselling
My favourite definition of trauma is that it's a wound that occurs when a sentient being experiences "too much too soon, too little for too long, or too much for too long". Beyond Healing Center
By this definition we have likely all accumulated various wounds from: caregivers/parents/teachers that had their own dirty (or unaddressed trauma) and were either not attuned, overbearing, enmeshed, distant, numbed out, abusive or just mean; bullying at school or in the community; racism, sexism, classism, ableism, heterosexism, sizeism, gender discrimination and any other form of marginalization; physical, sexual, verbal abuse; accidents; losses; instability (ie moving and changing schools, parents separating and/or introducing multiple partners into a child's life); chronic illness, pain and disability; job loss and so on.
Dirty trauma is a term coined by Resmaa Menakem (author of My Grandmother's Hands a book about Somatic Abolitionism) and refers to people that do not fully resolve and heal their traumatic wounds. In my experience the world seems focused on having people move on from their wounds as though nothing has happened. If you happen to be someone or was raised by folx with dirty trauma you are not alone. Good trauma therapy that addresses trauma in the whole brain (not just the thinking brain), the whole body and the whole spirit is hard to find and can be pricey. And to make matters worse, the world seems to value and prioritize just picking yourself up and moving on:
Just Move On
Forget About it
Don't Dwell or Get Stuck in a Pity Party
You're Better Than This
It is What it Is (my least favourite saying)
You've Got This
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you cry alone.
The last line was one my mother used to recite to me. I know she meant well, but what she was teaching me was how to retrofit myself to please and attract others rather than being my self and attracting folx that would like me just as I was. In fact, I felt the need to not cry, so that my mother would think I was the "strong" person she wanted me to be.
I learned to laugh when crying would have been more appropriate. I even remember laughing at age 10 when at my beloved grandmother's funeral because I didn't want to scare people away. I am a survivor of complex trauma aka C-PTSD and I am a therapist with a dissociative system. I have spent my life and considerable money healing from my wounds which went unacknowledged for the first 30 years of my life.
My search for healing for myself has led me to become a multi-modal approach therapist that is willing to work with you to metaphorically clean out all the "dust bunnies" left behind by the wounds you have experienced over your lifetime.
I am first and foremost a social justice activist that believes I cannot be free until everyone else is free. I am a writer and an organizer and a participant in projects that advance equity. My passion for anti-racism, anti-oppression, feminism and addressing all forms of marginalization has gifted me with an ability to connect the dots between personal pain and systemic structures that maintain dominance and subordination within certain groups. Example rape and sexual abuse cannot exist without sexism; chronic illness wouldn't be as rampant without trauma and systemic inequality; nursing home wouldn't exist without ageism and ableism and racism, and shelters and low income housing wouldn't be needed without classism.
I am a trauma and dissociation informed therapist that is primarily an EMDR therapist (since 2001) that combines: part-work; attachment theory; polyvagal theory; somatic psychology; expressive arts therapy; sex therapy; movement; yoga; and mindfulness.
I have combined all of these modalities so that I am better equipped to meet clients with a modality that might work for you rather than having you try to retrofit yourself into one modality that I prefer.
I love accompanying people on their healing journeys and find joy in providing clients with ample opportunities to experience compassionate care and attention.
At this point in my career I do not have many openings because I prefer to work with people long term 6-months to several years which means I do not have lots of turnover.
In the beginning stages, I focus on history taking, relationship building, building distress tolerance, and enhancing/developing calming/coping/grounding strategies. If you are open to this, I like to get to know your internal system and what each part of you needs when you are activated. When we both feel prepared enough we would move into reprocessing wounds from the past, present and potentially upsetting events in the future. At any point in this process should you decide our work together has completed, we would work toward closure and ending our relationship in a healthy caring way.
By this definition we have likely all accumulated various wounds from: caregivers/parents/teachers that had their own dirty (or unaddressed trauma) and were either not attuned, overbearing, enmeshed, distant, numbed out, abusive or just mean; bullying at school or in the community; racism, sexism, classism, ableism, heterosexism, sizeism, gender discrimination and any other form of marginalization; physical, sexual, verbal abuse; accidents; losses; instability (ie moving and changing schools, parents separating and/or introducing multiple partners into a child's life); chronic illness, pain and disability; job loss and so on.
Dirty trauma is a term coined by Resmaa Menakem (author of My Grandmother's Hands a book about Somatic Abolitionism) and refers to people that do not fully resolve and heal their traumatic wounds. In my experience the world seems focused on having people move on from their wounds as though nothing has happened. If you happen to be someone or was raised by folx with dirty trauma you are not alone. Good trauma therapy that addresses trauma in the whole brain (not just the thinking brain), the whole body and the whole spirit is hard to find and can be pricey. And to make matters worse, the world seems to value and prioritize just picking yourself up and moving on:
Just Move On
Forget About it
Don't Dwell or Get Stuck in a Pity Party
You're Better Than This
It is What it Is (my least favourite saying)
You've Got This
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you cry alone.
The last line was one my mother used to recite to me. I know she meant well, but what she was teaching me was how to retrofit myself to please and attract others rather than being my self and attracting folx that would like me just as I was. In fact, I felt the need to not cry, so that my mother would think I was the "strong" person she wanted me to be.
I learned to laugh when crying would have been more appropriate. I even remember laughing at age 10 when at my beloved grandmother's funeral because I didn't want to scare people away. I am a survivor of complex trauma aka C-PTSD and I am a therapist with a dissociative system. I have spent my life and considerable money healing from my wounds which went unacknowledged for the first 30 years of my life.
My search for healing for myself has led me to become a multi-modal approach therapist that is willing to work with you to metaphorically clean out all the "dust bunnies" left behind by the wounds you have experienced over your lifetime.
I am first and foremost a social justice activist that believes I cannot be free until everyone else is free. I am a writer and an organizer and a participant in projects that advance equity. My passion for anti-racism, anti-oppression, feminism and addressing all forms of marginalization has gifted me with an ability to connect the dots between personal pain and systemic structures that maintain dominance and subordination within certain groups. Example rape and sexual abuse cannot exist without sexism; chronic illness wouldn't be as rampant without trauma and systemic inequality; nursing home wouldn't exist without ageism and ableism and racism, and shelters and low income housing wouldn't be needed without classism.
I am a trauma and dissociation informed therapist that is primarily an EMDR therapist (since 2001) that combines: part-work; attachment theory; polyvagal theory; somatic psychology; expressive arts therapy; sex therapy; movement; yoga; and mindfulness.
I have combined all of these modalities so that I am better equipped to meet clients with a modality that might work for you rather than having you try to retrofit yourself into one modality that I prefer.
I love accompanying people on their healing journeys and find joy in providing clients with ample opportunities to experience compassionate care and attention.
At this point in my career I do not have many openings because I prefer to work with people long term 6-months to several years which means I do not have lots of turnover.
In the beginning stages, I focus on history taking, relationship building, building distress tolerance, and enhancing/developing calming/coping/grounding strategies. If you are open to this, I like to get to know your internal system and what each part of you needs when you are activated. When we both feel prepared enough we would move into reprocessing wounds from the past, present and potentially upsetting events in the future. At any point in this process should you decide our work together has completed, we would work toward closure and ending our relationship in a healthy caring way.
